a work in progress

the pre-weekend pump up

Ok everyone…it’s Friday. I can’t speak for you, but each week this day prompts mixed emotions within me. Let’s start with the obvious positives. First, there’s the whole I-prefer-not-going-to work to going to work, and because my hours are fairly typical, I usually don’t have to work over the weekend. Don’t judge me for that, and don’t even try to say that you’re one of those people who “would go to work even if you didn’t need the money.” That’s not a real thing, and you are lying. Second, not setting my alarm (which isn’t always an option, but I don’t have children so it usually works out) is wonderful. I go to bed with a smile when I know my body, not my iPhone, is going to wake me. Like most with chronic pain, sleeping is a struggle, and I need the weekend to help me reset.

Fridays stir a few negative emotions, as well. When I have nothing planned my body is excited, but I’m pretty bummed. I repeatedly tell myself this is what I need and I’m going to be grateful for the quiet time to recuperate from last week/get ready for next week, but it’s dull…and lonely…and usually I get a little down on Saturday night. So let’s say I have something on the books. Even if it’s a small something, like a haircut or a movie with one of my sisters, I get a little bit anxious about it. If what I have to do is a big something, like a wedding party or a big birthday dinner, I get quite nervous. (If you’d like more information on that, feel free to read the post my first concert…in at least five years.)  Am I going to be physically comfortable in what I’m wearing? Can that dress be worn with flats? Should I take my medicine before or after? Are people going to notice if I don’t drink? Will I feel good enough tomorrow to mop the floors? These thoughts, and give or take 150 others, are what go through my mind up until the point when I finally get home.

Then there’s the aftermath. If I did more than I should I inevitably have to adjust my medication the next day (start taking it earlier), and/or cancel/postpone other social engagements or chores I wanted to get done. I know I’m not special (duh), and that everyone with a chronic condition has to make sacrifices whenever (s)he wants to do something. We don’t get freebies…ever.

The schedule this weekend is a bit of a doozie. I have plans this evening (a play about an hour away), tomorrow evening (a wedding cocktail party), and all day Sunday (Jazz Fest, an outdoor music/food festival to which I haven’t been in almost a decade). I also might have to work a little on Saturday. Any one of these events has the possibility of messing up my body for days. I have the feeling this is about to be disastrous, but I can’t give up any one of these. Each is important to me for a different reason, and I cannot justify not going to one for the sake of the other, or even for my level of pain.

Today I am pumping myself with organic green juice and other nutritious things to give me  added support for what I need to accomplish this weekend. I will later use Mummy Tape, a kinesiology tape that helps provide support to my wonky hips. Tomorrow I plan to wake up, have a good breakfast, and hopefully not go to work so I can relax (aka do nothing) until the cocktail party. Sunday I plan on doing the best I can to prepare my body and mind for the day ahead, and just trying to relax and go with it. (Thankfully, I will have a chair in tote and plan on sitting down as much as possible.) I’m sure by the time Monday rolls around I’ll be cursing everyone in sight, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.

Best of luck to everyone out there; may your weekend be filled with whatever you need, whether it’s sleep, a friend to talk to, or a wild party!

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