• a work in progress,  eastern medicine

    putting down the gloves

    I’ve been in a defensive stance for a long time. I used to fight to get to the end of each day, letting my symptoms dictate how I went about everything. Now, I fight to get better – to finally reach some sort of existence in which I’m not constantly uncomfortable. Lately, however, I’ve been receiving messages that this is not the way I should go about managing my health and pain. At first, I was incredulous. I may speak of acceptance and how that is my ultimate goal, but to actually achieve this has felt like a pipedream. Yes, it’s a beautiful idea, but my true mental state has…

  • a work in progress,  eastern medicine,  western medicine

    finding balance

      There was a certain level of comfort I associated with treating my chronic illnesses with the more “traditional” approaches we associate with Westernized medicine. I might not have enjoyed relying on doctors, surgeries, and pharmaceuticals to keep me going, but I was used to it. And in a body that felt…well…uncomfortable most of the time, I found an unexpected peace in maintaining this low level of functioning day after day. I guess I could have waited until I “got better” before I gave up the safety net that pharmaceuticals provided, but having no confidence┬áthat would happen, I went for it, sure that there would be other things onto which…

  • a work in progress,  eastern medicine,  rx opioid recovery

    a little help

    Asking for help isn’t my strongest suit. I’m much better at suffering through something then passive-aggressively complaining after. But when I stopped taking my prescriptions I quickly learned that had to change. In the world of holistic health, nothing happens quickly. You restrict your diet and might not see the positive impact for months. You clean the heavy metals out of your system, religiously practice your physical therapy regimen, and meditate multiple times a day and likely won’t notice a difference for weeks on end. When you take pharmaceuticals, however, you can get relief [even if it’s just slight] practically instantly. So, when I do something that pushes me into…